Hazy
by awordycontradiction
Summary: And with Lydia, the lines between friends and more were pretty blurry at the moment, god, especially when she smiles at me like that.


**So I've read a few of these song-fic things, and I love music just as much as the next person so I thought I'd try it.. I love this song, and I think it fits Stiles feeling's perfectly... or maybe I just want it to. Ha-ha. But I am not usually one for writing things so far from the truth, and I'm not really sure what's going to come from these two but I would love to see something like this between them. So yeah, hope you like it. Song: Hazy by: Rosi Golan Feat. William Fitzsimmons**

Hazy

_I watched you sleeping quietly in my bed._

Lydia was curled up under the covers. Sound asleep, thankfully. We just had the night from hell, and she needed the rest just as badly as I did. Though, I could wait, I wasn't about to cuddle up in my bed with Lydia Martin, she'd freak the hell out. But I wanted to. I turned away, swiveling my desk chair towards the window, letting my phone rotate through my fingers a couple of times. I tapped my foot anxiously and closed my eyes to find some clarity. It was worse now, _way, way_ harder to control these ever growing feelings for the strawberry blonde that I've known since forever.

_You don't know this now, but there's some things that need to be said._

After everything that had happen last night, after the hell I went through I knew for certain that I loved her. I loved Lydia Martin with everything inside me and then some. Just the thought of losing her was devastating and coming so close really pushed me over the edge. I rubbed my face with my hands, trying with little avail to shake the utter exhaustion I was feeling. What would I have done if Derek succeeded? How could I live without her? I turned back towards the far wall, towards my bed, luckily I wouldn't have to. I tried to remain positive, attempted to forget those feelings but they clung to me.

_And it's all that I can hear. It's more than I can bare. _

It wasn't just Lydia dying that was bothering me. It was the fact that sooner than later she was going to find someone new, someone else who was better than Jackson, better than me. Someone who was going to make her smile, and make her forget all the crazy shit that has happened to her recently. He is going to be perfect, ivy league, broad shouldered, athletic. He would make her mother swoon and her father proud. He wasn't going to be me, that was for damn sure. And that killed me.

_What if I fall and hurt myself? Would you know how to fix me?_

Lydia started to stir, I jumped from my chair and walked towards my bed carefully not to frighten her. She looked so tired, so worn and broken and confused. I smiled curtly while sitting at the edge of my bed. She moved over some more, granting me permission to lay next to her. She sighed when I inhaled, taking her in is a feeling I never wanted to not experience. She stared at me, so many questions in her big green eyes. I never really thought of them as doe-like before, but right now they were exactly that. She laid on her side reaching for me in the setting sun. I held her close, her head nuzzled into my neck, her warm breath making my skin prickle and fire course through my veins. This was the only thing I needed, and her prince charming wasn't stopping by today. So, for just right now Lydia needed me and I needed her and I planned on enjoying this.

_What if I went and lost myself? Would you know where to find me?_

So what if Lydia Martin wasn't good for me. I mean, what does that even mean? Who's to say she isn't good for me? Who's to say I'm not good enough? My head was spinning with all the thoughts, my heart was pounding with the anxiety of this being a dream. I was slowly losing it, losing my mind was one thing, but losing Lydia no matter the circumstance was a different issue, a way more important one. I shuffled my body, trying not to wake her. I needed to walk around, needed to get up. This was wrong, we were wrong. She was only acting this way because she was in shock. This was just like that day I went to check on her after the video store attack. She wasn't in her right mind and she was settling for a warm body to comfort her. I was stupid, I wasn't the one, I was worthless. But her hold was too strong, she held onto me, like she knew my move before I made it. Her eyes stayed closed but it was like I could feel her mind racing, trying to figure out what I was doing. I swallowed hard, and tried to relax. Once my body went limp again, Lydia sighed contently, snuggling into the soft material of my hoodie, the smell of her hair wafting into my nose. I caressed the bare arm she slung across my torso. The skin so soft, so white, so real. Lydia was still here, still laying in me bed, still holding onto me.

Who was comforting who now?

_If I forgot who I am, would you please remind me?_

Scott called twice, waking up Lydia in the process. He was either going to bitch at me for something I probably had no control over or complain about his perfect relationship with the beautiful Allison Argent. Either was I wasn't answering. I was distancing myself from this crap that consumed my life. I was done. I almost lost Lydia for god sake, what other aspect of my life does Scott want to ruin? He's butchered my relationship with my dad, I am always lying to him. He's gotten me into detention more times than I can remember, and he's changed so much that he's even taken away the friend I used to know. So, no. I wasn't answering my damn phone, I was going to relax right here, in my bed and try to make sense of my life, and now where Lydia was going to fit just like how perfectly she fit into my arms last night. "He might need you." She had mumbled after I ignored another call. "Everyone needs me." I had spat at no one in particular, just out of stress. "It's because you're that guy." She mumbled, resting her hand against my chest again. "What guy?" I asked, trying not to move too much. "You're the guy that everyone feels comfortable enough to go to for, for everything." She smiled, I felt her voice get higher. "It's a good thing, Stiles." I sighed, she got me. I nodded, yawned and rested my hand on the space where her arm met her shoulder blade. "I'll call him back in a minute."

_Cause without you things go hazy._

So, it wasn't like Lydia Martin was marching out of my life right this second, on the contrary she's staying for breakfast. Maybe I don't know who I really am, or where the two of us stand but I do know that I love her, and whatever she needs me to be is exactly what I will give her, because love is about doing things for someone that you wouldn't normally do. And with Lydia, the lines between friends and more were pretty blurry at the moment, god, especially when she smiles at me like that.


End file.
